What is it with mobile phone operators trying their hardest to make me hate them?

First, a bit of history… 3 years ago Vodafone decided that even though I wanted to give them MORE money per month AND pay large quantities of cash for the phone I wanted, that I couldn’t have a half decent contract or even simply retain my number.  Bye bye Vodafone - they didn’t even care that I told them I was cancelling for O2 and practically helped me out the door.  Amazing.

Back to the present and my 2nd O2 contract is up and it seems that O2 have shunned a significant section of their user community by apparently deciding to discontinue a particular line of their HTC based ‘XDA’ branded devices.  Not good for me because I want one - they’re fucking awesome.  On top of this Orange and Vodafone appeared to only have this particular phone available to large business contracts.

So I’m looking at dropping £500 on a new phone until I spoke to Vodafone who came to their senses and can offer me a decent contract along with my awesome new phone - for free, no less!

Now, all I have to do is cancel my contract with O2 - easy, surely?  I go into my local store where I find out that they “don’t deal with cancellations in store, you have to call customer services…”.  Christ, quite a major part of the whole contract malarky and you have to faff around on their phone system.  So I call O2 and find out immediately that 1) their championed data network has fallen over (again - it did so last week) and 2) their website is also down so I’ll need to call back at about midday tomorrow.  No PAC code for me, no new contract hence no new phone.

No.  No, no, no… NO. Wankers.  You useless bastards!  I was hesitant to leave them a few days ago, and now I can’t wait to be rid of them - all I required was a miniscule amount of service at a key point in time and they fail in nearly every way possible.

Just a very short one, and for once I’m not actually raging, but happy.
Related to the post below about “respecting religion” and the liberal left…

I think this new youtube video sums it all up to be honest, although this is directed more towards another certain dangerous religion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4FpTvp0tgs

Worth a watch anyway.

I’ve never wanted to go to Ireland before, just never took my fancy.
However, after today I’m 100% sure I never, ever will.

Anyone who reads this link that isn’t actually a) scared of the content of the actual text and b) shocked that anyone in power could actually be so fucking stupid needs to wake up and get with the program.

Dear oh dear

Actually verging on speechless on this one, but I’ll perservere. I’m shocked how something so utterly illogical, archaic and down right dangerous to mankind is now protected by law, so much that should any religion be critisized either verbally or within text form the author is liable for a fine up to 25,000 euros.

The idea of having to tolerate and even *retch* respect someones ill thought out, old fashioned fairy tale makes me feel quite ill inside and actually, entirely offended. Why the hell should I have to respect anyone elses belief in a completely made up superbeing, whatever one they chose to believe in / got brainwashed into believing in as a kid, dependant of course on who their parents were; let alone being fined thousands of euros for the freedom of speech to speak out against it.

Seriously, Irish ministers responsible for this abomination of law, you’re the biggest bunch of retarded, backwards, dangerously brainwashed left wing liberal shit stains I’ve EVER read about. All of you seriously hang yourselves before you cast any more sickening shame on your troubled country.

I appreciate that a lot of trouble has been brought about over recent years with the catholics vs the protestants, but seriously, wake up and smell the coffee on this one. It was an excuse to prolong a war, an excuse to keep fighting, if anyone involved actually took their twisted backwards religion seriously and believed it made them a better person they might obey “thou shalt not kill” and let their God get on with making amends in regards to the non believers.

Yes, true, I don’t know many details about the war in Ireland, I have hardly any background on it and really only know what the media told me growing up. In my mind the main reason for the fighting which came out, when anyone around me was talking about it was “catholics vs the protestants” and basically a big fight for land. To be honest though that is kinda out of the scope of this rage post, my point about the law legislation stands… so on we go.

Why any superbeing that supposedly created the world requires it’s minions to fight a war on it’s behalf… get offended on it’s behalf, cut down countless other people that believe in a slightly different version of the same story on it’s behalf… well, how utterly great must it be eh? Useless controlled brainwashed fuckwits again using their diety as an excuse to kill someone else for personal gain.

As pointed out by a few comments at the bottom of the artcle, how can you have a law protecting religions from being slured and yet the very same religions being protected, actively and openly slating other religions in the process? It’s all a massive giant mess which really needs to go away. So forget “boycott Newquay”, boycott Ireland.

Seriously, for your own mental health.

Am I the only one who thinks this major deal of mourning over our 8 dead soldiers from Afganistan is a bit much?

Now don’t get me wrong here… I’m not anti army, anti soldier, anti anything like that, they’re doing a job that I would never want to do and I admire them for it. The problem I have, yet again is the way it’s all represented in the media.

If I understood a little more about exactly why these poor people are sent out there with a complete lack of decent kit and number of bodies I might be a bit more behind keeping them there. However the news never seems to want to remind us exactly WHY the soldiers are still there, I literally have no idea. Clawing back ownership of land? Wiping out people against our way of life? I don’t actually know, perhaps I did once but I’ve forgotten now.

Apparently the soldiers were on “operations” at the time, now to anyone with a bit of intelligence out there you can have a jab at what that means. To me it means “actively involved in proceedures to kill the enemy” and it’s this twisted terminology to hide the truth; that really is what I have a major issue with. How many enemies have will killed in Afganistan? Per week?

How many people hiding pathetically in caves or otherwise are being slaughtered on a weekly basis by our troops whilst we lose 8 in a fortnight? See without knowing exactly why our soldiers are there (perhaps I should make an effort to look it up, be nice if the news told me a bit of background though) it becomes very hard to make an informed choice or form an opinion on whether or not I even agree with it. Sometimes it’s a bit hard to believe that these rural puny people pose any sort of threat at all, but I could be wrong.

Everything seems so held back when reported on the news, the only thing we’re told is Soldiers have been killed, there are a few upset people from their families (obviously). Then some local retarded residents appear on the news and start speaking broken english about how much they loved the poor sods that are dead. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of useful information presented to us at all, only “they’ve killed our troops!!!!111″ in some sort of vague attempt at making us more pissed off with countries and people we know nothing about; and least of all give a shit about.

Thats the way it comes across to me anyway, anger and rile the retards who don’t care why, keep the troops in longer, withold basic information on the news reports, mourn the dead. But only our dead.

I’ve moved into a new place recently and after finding a signal wall socket that actually works I’ve managed to hook the TV up, mostly just to be on in the background or to be watched when there really is nothing else to do. Achievement central.

It’s nice sometimes to just have something making a noise when you’re sat down eating, seeing as I usually eat so fast I dont have much time to say anything anyway. I was under no disillusion that people hooked on TV usually soak up moronic statements and bullshit advertising without questioning anything, but I was a bit shocked as to what extent it actually took place.

Bill Hicks said people in marketing have no soul and should kill themselves, I’d be entitled to agree but I’m starting to think they might not actually be the problem. I mean if this unintelligent drivel actually sells things on behalf of the companies that sanction the ads, the problem is no doubt the general public soaking up such horse shit without thinking about it. Hoovering up the nonsense in droves.

I’ve seen a few examples recently that make very little sense, or just quote outrageous shite:

1) Kitchen towel being advertised that claims to have the “power of an elephant” in every sheet.
I’m sorry what? I was under the impression that advertising in this country had to both tell the truth and refrain from slanderous remarks. I’d question that a single sheet of paper towel could ever “have the power of an elephant” but I’d also wonder what this comparison was in reference to? The same power as an elephant to … pull a fallen tree? Eat 20 bananas? Soak up a spill in the kitchen? What an utter load of shit.

2) Birds eye’s new range of “Easy cook fish”. The Ad comes on and the voiceover claims that Birds eye have magically made cooking fish easier and now you can “cheat”. Basically the idea is you pull out the fish from the box, in this case salmon and it’s in some sort of pouch. The pouch can be put on a tray in the oven and cooked, until it’s ready. Er… when I cook salmon, i take it out of the packet, put it in a bit of foil and put it into the oven on a tray. Whilst you could say that not having to wrap the fish in foil first was indeed easier, it makes you wonder exactly how hard it was to wrap the fish in a bit of tin foil before putting it in the oven? As if things actually needed to be made easier at all, but all the same, take nothing away from Birds eye for their massively magical idea and general aid to the public on this one.

Now even the most retarded bastards can enjoy salmon as well, but oh … just wait a minute, unwrapping the salmon from the tin foil was easy… has anyone tried taking boiling hot fish out of a boil in the bag style pouch setup before? Yeah, so that’s where it might just fall down. Cut the bag open, scold your hands on steam then try and get the fish intact out of a slit you’ve just cut that isn’t big enough.

Another thing that has erked me a bit, whilst still causing me to pay attention is the advert for some new perfume you can get at Boots. Whilst it must be quite hard to create an advert for perfume, seeing as you have no way of actually telling anyone what it smells like, every company seems resorts to extremely pretty girls and / or posh people in fancy dresses and extravogant getups etc, people parading around flaunting themselves. As if wearing this particular scent will turn you into a gorgeous model. Here is where my slightly nasty side comes out, because every time I see the advert a certain image goes through my head.

What I *really* want to happen when I see that women lounging posing at the camera with her “I’m so smugly beautiful face”, is some chunky cock with flappy foreskin to come onto the side of the screen and just let rip the biggest, nastiest load of piss all over the pristine chick’s hair and face. Not because I get off on it, because she is so fucking pointless that seeing her getting utterly humiliated like that would cause me a great deal of amusement. The look on her face of sheer terror as the first blobs cascade down onto her pretty face eventually soaking her. I actually think that due to her incredibly good looks and easy as shit lifestyle she actually DESERVES it. Perhaps it’s jealousy I dunno, who cares? It’s my fucking page and I’ll write what I feel like!

Anyway… the last thing I’ve seen recently that has made me think “wtf” was an advert for a program on the BBC. Not something advertising a product to thickos, an actual BBC advert where they claim in a program upcomming they are going to “Put science to the test”.

…

Does anyone actually know what the fuck that is meant to mean?

How can you put a whole area of study to the test? How can you actively go out and test something that only exists through another medium? Surely what they mean is they’re aiming to get a bunch of scientists together to attempt to solve a problem via scientific means. So what the program will be about is actually putting PEOPLE to the test to see if they can use scientific methods to solve an issue.

Great, I can get with that, but the idea of putting “science” to the test, something that doesn’t physically exist in a measurable state is utter nonscense. It’s almost too perfect that it parodies the Brasseye episode “Science” made about 15 years ago today where they put “science on trial”, showing a picture of a few chemistry test tubes sat in a court dock.

Science, you are accused of going too far!

The very notion of putting a subject area to the test is unfathomable, even more so for the fact the entire level of scientific understanding involved depends entirely upon the scientists involved.

So yet again well done to the BBC, a corporation that frequently causes me rage. I swear to God (or I would, if he existed) that they BBC is infested with left wing, bullshit talking retards with very little in the way of either brain power or creativity, or indeed intelligence. They do *nothing*, nothing at all to show me they want to relate to intelligent people, mostly because I fear they actually have no one with an IQ of over 90 working for them. At least in charge of programming and schedules.

Do something daring for once you bunch of pricks, make a show for a simple hour a week that thick cunts will not be able to relate to and entertain me and people like me. Give me *something* for my license fee.

I’m off to go and make my dinner now to “put cooking to the test”.
Not myself, of course, the actual subject area of cooking itself, will it yield results or will it fail me miserably?? Stay tuned.

I caught a feature on the news a couple of times today about a 16 year old lad who fell off a cliff down in a town called Newquay.

Believe me I know all about the dangers of newquay, or rather neighbours on holiday in Newquay when one decided to chain a sequence of events together that left me with a fractured skull and my parents thinking I was dead.

On the other hand, I wasn’t drunk at the time and I was supervised.
The parent on the TV feature, I say parent singular because I didn’t see a dad on the news article, figures really the kid looked like a total rod smoker and without a father figure around who can blame him.

The article shows the mother frantically hammering away on the computer setting up a Facebook group, urging people to “boycott Newquay” until it’s a safer place. Especially youngsters who can get into trouble and fall off cliffs… when drunk.

So this leaves me a little dumbfounded, asking people to boycott an entire Holiday location because one bar/resturaunt sold the kids alcohol without asking for ID. There might even be problems in the area that need fixing, not enough safety features on high verges/cliffs, lack of police, whatever you want to mention. Problem is look anywhere in the UK and you’ll find similar issues you can pick apart to try and blame someone else for something that holds none.

Now this creates mixed feelings because the law quite clearly says it is a criminal offense to attempt to purchase alcohol being under age, which actually makes her little angel a criminal in the eyes of the law.

One establishment selling alcohol to minors does not quite equate to every single outlet in the town needing to be boycott by holiday makers, even if there is a trend for it happening down there. How about taking responsibility for the fact your faggot looking son was only 16 and still a CHILD and you let him go on holiday without any adult supervision and get killed.

Slightest bit of guilt creeping in there?
Frustrated that he got himself killed in a careless fashion after a prank went wrong or a careless alcohol fueled accident took place?
By the look of things if the kid was happily sat in a bar drinking spirits from a glass he sure as hell knew what he liked to drink so it comes together quite nicely that he had obviously drank before. Well done mum!

Why not go on facebook and vent your rage pointlessly at a group of people who will either a) not want to hear / read it or b) follow like sheep and jump on the back of your pointless cause without realising this is actually completely the fault of your own dead son, and yourself, for letting a child get themselves into a situation where ultimately, you are responsible.

It’s quite true, as I am aware that a 16 year old these days might as well be classed as an adult. They don’t need supervision, they are often street smart, been drinking for ages, potentially have kids, whatever you care to mention. The real problem here however, is the law says otherwise, so ultimately the responsibility lies squarely, with the parent.

Special mentions as always; well done, yet again, to the BBC for waisting my license fee on retarded, pointless bullshit, running this feature without asking questions surrounding the important points that I’ve brought up here, that any mildly intelligent and logical person might think of. Sure she probably doesn’t want to be told that her son broke the law by not owning up to being underage and getting sloshed illegally, but I want to see her face being brought to tears as compensation for waisting my fucking license fee in this way. At least entertain me a little if you’re not going to actually put proper news articles on a news show?

Not one person made the point that her son had broken the law, why she hadn’t been there supervising him at the time, I can understand she’s probably upset but her wanting people to boycott an entire area because of her family failings IS NOT FUCKING NEWS.

She got a lot more air time on my TV today than something I’m actually interested in watching, like the cricket would be nice, but oh, I can’t watch that because I don’t pay Sky for it. Thanks again BBC.

So yeah, boycott Newquay, the cunts!
Boycott that stupid woman’s fucking face off my TV, now that’d be a win for society.