When they say things that can go wrong, will go wrong, there was never a truer word spoken last night. After not sleeping too well the night before (about 4 hours worth) due to my sinuses playing me around I went to work yesterday and wasn’t in a great state for the most part. Going out for some fresh air and good food at lunch helped a bit but the lul in the afternoon was rudely broken when I got pulled into an hour and a half meeting with some important people. That woke me up a bit.
So I skipped the gym after leaving work just gone half 5 and came home in the rush hour traffic determined that I would get an early night so I could wake up the next day, get in for a decent time, use the gym at lunch and go to band practise later on that night. Come half 9 I was knackered so I turned everything off and got into bed and by 10 I was starting to drift off.
Then for some reason my housemates, who had never done this before, decided to start having a laugh with each other in the lounge, directly below my room. This consisted of “talking” to each other in the form of who-can-shout-the-fucking-loudest. Yes, one of them is black, yes the other one is asian and wants to be black. I don’t know why the stereotype exists for this… but it seems to be true, why is it that certain cultures can’t talk to each other at all, they absolutely have to shout. Even if someone is 3 feet away sitting in an arm chair. You can all me whatever names you want for saying this, I don’t care, it’s the absolute truth. The dude shouts all the damn time, when he’s talking to people he knows, when he’s on the phone, always.
I’ve seen the same thing at work, two black-ethnic people sat at a table having a conversation with the entire canteen when all they need to do is talk to each other. Everyone else in the canteen looking round at them as if to say “why the hell are you shouting?” Certainly a cultural thing but I have utterly no clue as to why its neccessary.
So about 5 time’s in a row I’m drifting off to sleep and I get brought back to conciousness by a massive laugh or a booming sentence echoing up through the floor boards. Thing is though I’m not unreasonable, it’s not even 11 pm and this new house has walls made of bolser wood. Any slight sound made when the house is quiet can be heard by anyone, any loud sound can even be heard outside. So it gets to just gone 11pm and to prove my little theory, housemate number 3 comes home, the laddish girl football supporter. In an attempt to show them how loud they were being and the fact she could hear them outside, she tells them in an overly loud voice, then promptly gives a nice demonstration of the volume they were speaking at but in her lovely shrill female voice. Basically starts screaming underneath my room at about 11:15.
By now I’ve been laying there nearly 2 hours and I’m now in no mood for sleeping at all. I’m pissed off but there isnt much I can do, things seem to die down, I turn on my ps3 and play some prince of persia until about half 12, then I start to feel tired again. So I turn it off, try to go to bed. Whats this? Loudest housemate has now migrated to his room, directly next to mine, but there is someone else there too… another guy? He sounds like he’s possibly drunk, they’re chatting away to each other at full stereo typical blackguy volume.
That carries on until about 1 am when the second unknown dude starts whining. Yes seriously. I think he was trying to sing or something but it was a whine that kept coming through the walls until about half 1 at which point I just reacted and shouted “SHUT UP” through the walls. Bare in mind I’d been trying to go to bed for about 4 fucking hours at this point and didn’t think it was unreasonable to ask the guy to shut up.
He doesn’t shut up, he sings more, perhaps louder than he was before. They start laughing and joking around again about 10 minutes later. Obviously a massive funny fucking joke. By this point I was nearly going into stab mode. I was lying in bed with visions of busting the door to the room down, kicking the shit out of them both and throwing them down the stairs. The jury was listening to my story and weren’t being very leniant.
Eventually I heard my housemate say something about “stop doing it and go to sleep”. Hurrah! But wait… so… here’s the funny bit, it’s about 2 in the morning, I’m raged from being woken up constantly for hours by loud ass people, then the guy falls asleep in about 10 minutes flat… and starts snoring.
And he snores like a mother fucker. In typical fat, overweight person fashion he’s laying there and his airway is constantly trying to collapse on itself due to the amount of subcutaneous fat almost strangling his fetid corpse as he sleeps. If only. I almost laughed a bit hysterically at this point, until through the snoring his mate started coughing. Not just coughing, proper ill coughing as if he’s hacking up phelgm the size of a small rodent.
Up he gets every 15 odd minutes after coughing, waking his mate up, they have a little chat, he goes into the toilet to spit it out, turning on the hot tap to flush it. Oh… we’ve got a secondary pump installed in the hot water room at this house because the water pressure is so low, so you can imagine what happens when you turn on the hot tap. Yeah thats right, this massive fucking pump kicks in, right next to my bedroom and there is no way of getting to sleep again.
I sit there almost going fucking insane until about 5 AM trying to block it out, decide to have another little play on my game but now I just can’t get to sleep. My throat and sinuses are getting worse, I’m physically starting to hurt and in 3 hours I’m supposed to get up to go to work. So I basically sit there until such time as I text in that I’m not feeling well, they all leave for work and I try to go to bed.
I detest having to ruin my day and take time off work just because some inconsiderate cunts find it funny to keep me awake for about 7 hours solid. All when I’m already on the brink of illness. I shall think of a way of getting back at the cunts for this, I will >:|
What a fucking night 
